There comes a time when we must separate the stories in our mind from the truth of our feelings. Do we really feel that way, or is it just a story we’re telling ourselves? Is that a story we’ve created for ourselves, or is it one that someone else is living? A story someone has offered to you to live out, only to have you accept it into your reality and let it bring you down.
In my research in the past I learned that in order to ‘win people over’ it is much better to voice your more controversial opinions and be controversial in your choice of words. Doing this separates the fools who seek an argument from those who will really listen and want to further their understanding. This is something worth remembering when making large life choices, I think. Loved ones – family, friends – do want what is best for us, but they are emotionally invested in the outcome they would prefer to see and so, whether they are aware of this or not, they will often push stories, ideas, notions into your head to persuade you to take the course of action more preferable to them. For this reason it is always *so* important to trust your feelings, emotions and intuition.
Judgement is an absolute of the human experience. To say that someone is wrong for trying to manipulate the outcome of a situation to meet their needs or preferences therefore would be hypocritical. Not only would that be hypocritical, but I would be judging negatively by saying that, so it be would like double thickness hypocrisy with double standards! I understand that people often feel the need to manipulate the ‘external’ affairs of their loved ones in order to feel happy with the outcome. What’s funny is they tell themselves and everyone else that they, “just want the best for you,” or they “want you to be happy.” Bullshit, they want what they think is best for you and they want to be happy with how your choices. If they want you to be happy it’s because they want to be happy by they are seeing you happy. Okay, I’ll stop writing happy now.
This is the truth: There is no such thing as selflessness. It is impossible to be selfless because our motivation for doing anything, ever, is that we think or feel like it’s the right thing to do. And doing what we feel is the right thing to do will make us happy, satisfied or similar. Of course, right and wrong is subjective and all subjects and objects are illusory. And again, happiness is not a bad thing, if you ask me it’s the whole point of life – to be happy – so I’m not blaming anyone for doing this. I just think it’s worth remembering when we are talking to our loved ones about choices that they are unlikely to understand.
Our family and friends love us and they are always trying their best to do what they think or feel is right. There’s no problem there if we can remember that what they think or feel is the right thing to do is only their opinion. The only person that know what is right or best for you, is you. Follow your internal SatNav for that one.
I love you!Namaste, live, love and play!