Life is change. Love is the only constant. Anything that changes is an illusion. Love is the only constant.
If love is the only constant then what is love? Within this physical experience that we call life, the closest vibration to Source that we can embody is that of love. In all the understanding we have; we can find that the vibration of source is the one closest to that of love.
TEAL tells us that ‘Love is pure positive focus.’ I agree with this, however I would say that love is also more. A true, deep love is unchanging – regardless of focus. A deep, true, pure love exists beyond and without the limitations of time. The first time we experience this in our lives is towards our mothers. I have loved in my life and through all the pain, I still love. It is my feeling that when we are in love – in the sense in which I described it in previous blog posts – we are never out of that love: This is why break-ups are painful; this is why we look back at lovers with such fondness; this is why we experience such contrast of emotion when we think of our past lovers.
We feel pain when we think of our past lovers or ending a relationship because of two reasons: 1. Our Ego; 2. Our beliefs relative to pain.
The Pain Of The Ego
We see our past – whether it’s a memory of a lover or some other memory – as painful because we are entertaining the illusion of separateness as though it is an absolute. Separateness is an illusion, it is a temporary condition that we have opted into the experience of, for the time that we are doing life like we are.
How do we know that separateness is an illusion? The question I ask is, what seems to separate us? If we had no bodies and were just pure energy, would we still appear separate?
The energy – which is source, love; the absolute – that makes up our bodies manifests cells and is constantly creating new ones and renewing them. The quality and tendencies of these cells is determined by the frequency we hold. This is something Dr. Bruce Lipton talks about in his work. The body I have now was not the same body I had last week, or yesterday. The body I have now is not the body I will have next week, tomorrow, or even an hour from now.
If our bodies are not static and are ever-changing, then – based on this idea that nothing that changes is real – are our bodies real? If our bodies are not real then do they really separate us?
If we are not separate from others and believe that we are all one, then we would not feel pain relative to them when we think of them and not being with them. To solve this problem, we must find ways to remind ourselves or convince ourselves that we are all one; To remind ourselves that: nothing lasts and nothing is lost; save love.
The Pain Of Pain
Often we feel love for our past partners, lovers, spouses and so on even after we have parted ways with them. Even when we have experienced pain as a result of the encounter – be it from their actions or ours – we still feel some love for them. Where it gets complicated is that we tell ourselves we shouldn’t love them because they hurt us. And of course, this is resistant of how we really feel and so it is painful. There are few relationships which have ended on good enough terms for us to see that we do will love the person we were with. There are so many relationships that end with betrayal, hatefulness or even cruelty.
Once we “fall in love,” we are never out of love. Love is a constant. What changes is the dynamic of our love and our focus relative to that person. So the love that TEAL is talking about when she says that love is pure positive focus is the love that we relate to relationships and marriage. There is nothing wrong with this kind of love, but I feel like it’s just scratching the surface. When this kind of love becomes riddled with resentment it ends up being what we are familiar with when we look at bitter marriages built around self-sacrifice, resentment and addiction. Love based on self-sacrifice, change, resentment and addiction is what we can call a love/hate relationship. This is still love, but it is love with other more destructive emotions and tendencies layered on top of it.
If we were to strip away the layers of these more destructive emotions we would see the love for what it is; unchanging. Often the most effective way to do this is to remove the elements of the relationship which provided the conditions necessary to spawn these feelings in the first place. Namely the self-sacrifice, self-deprecation, self-deception, so on and so forth. To remove these destructive elements and replace them with self-loving elements is the key to finding the solution – and each solution is different for each relationship. For some, the relationship can be cleansed within the framework of the relationship itself; for some, the relationship may have to be dismantled and reassembled; for some it can become clear that what is most self-loving is to explore life without the relationship, in other words to end the relationship. (This does not end the love however, because love is eternal).
As I said before, love is the only constant and so we will never truly be ‘out of love’ with anyone. Once we allow somebody into our love-space, they are held there always regardless of time, space, circumstance or emotion. It’s for this reason that I can tell you that I still love my first love, I love my friends whom I feel a deep connection too in that same way. This does not discredit or defile the truth or quality of the love I have for my current partner or will have for future partners. Love is eternal and love is endless and because of this it is unlimited in it’s application. Our attention, however, is limited to our focus.
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” – Haruki Murakami
This, then, leads me to the topic of this particular section… The pain of pain. When we believe that pain is bad then we hide from it, shun it and run from it. Within the human experience there are a few things which come with the package. Along with love and judgement, pain is one of them. Pain in itself is nothing more than destruction; negativity. Suffering is resistance. When we resist to anything we suffer, whether it’s happiness or sadness. When we resist pain, however, it’s a double whammy. It hits us twice as hard when we resist pain because we are resisting negativity.
When we can understand that pain is actually a gift, then it becomes less the harbinger of suffering and more the harbinger of change. I have told you that love is the only constant, this is true in my experience – what I have also found to be true is that life is change.
How Is Pain A Gift?
Without pain, or more accurately – negativity – we would have no contrast. Without contrast we would not know polarity. Without polarity we would be doomed to a plateau of monotony in this life time. And as in my experience the purpose and meaning of life is expansion, this would render life meaningless. It is negativity that shows us the depths of positivity and vice verse. Without negativity we would not know positivity and without positivity we would not know negativity. This polarity is what gives us change. And it is the nuances in between, the grey areas, which provide us with choice, with decisions. This is why 2 is the number of change, and 3 is the number of decision.
It is because of this contrast that we are able to really, truly know what it feels like to be in any state. Imagine you’ve never experienced light, you would not know anything different and so would not truly appreciate it for what it is. This is the same with all contrast. It is contrast that shows us what we like experiencing and what we don’t. In this sense, pain is a huge benefit to us.
When We Embrace Oneness & Contrast
When we embrace oneness and contrast we begin to see that we are never without those we love or those we have “lost.” When we embrace oneness we know that everything is a reflection of what we think we are – and what we think we are is what we are. When we embrace oneness we can see that there is nothing more glorious than to love because to be in a space of love is to hold unity in the highest regard. To love is to be one. To love is the closest to ‘God’ we will ever be.
When we embrace contrast we cease resisting it and begin to appreciate the benefits brings with it’s inevitable appearance. As contrast is inevitable we have a choice – as always. Do we resist it and allow it power over us? Or do we allow it and accept it for what it is – a gift – and accept into our life what it is there to show us about ourselves, our life, what we want and what we have?
Life is change. Love is the only constant. Anything that changes is an illusion. Love is the only constant. The vibration that is closest to that of Source, here within the physical domain, is that of love. This is why we all want it. True love is eternal, it is unconditional, it is endless and it is limitless. Love brings suffering when we believe that pain is a bad thing. The truth is, pain is not bad. Pain serves a purpose of tremendous value and life would not be so expansive and amazing without this contrast.
When we accept that everything is energy and nothing separates us, then it becomes clear that nothing lasts, but nothing is lost, save love.
To love is not bad, wrong or negative. To love is not good, right or positive. To love is natural. To be in a space of love, or to be in love is to be with God – with Source.
When we allow ourselves to love and be like water simultaneously life becomes a current of love and beauty. All things mesh together to create an experience of wonder worthy of a lifetime of awe.
Be water, friends. And be love.
I trust that this is valuable to you!
I love you.
Namaste! Live to love and play!