I have been speaking a lot about the subject of self-editing recently. While discussing the topic with a friend earlier on this evening, I happened upon a combination of techniques which makes for a happy life. Often we see the phrase “Give up complaining for one day and see how your life improves.” What I’ll share with you in this post is my version: I call it, “Give up self-editing for a day and see how your life improves.”
If we can give up self-editing and begin to allow our true authenticity to shine through then we will notice a significant increase in our level of happiness and thus our quality of life.
Many of us find ourselves trying to blend in with crowds at work, in social situations with friends, or just conform to society’s norms and protocols. In doing this we limit ourselves and restrict the true essence of our being. Of course, in what ever we do we are irrevocably and entirely unique, even when we copy something or someone. When we copy something we are provide our own interpretation of it. The value of what I’m talking about here is in the ceasing of these restrictive thought patterns and habits and the cultivation of an ‘allowing state of mind.’
An allowing state of mind is one in which we are, or very quickly become, at peace with what has happened, what is happening and what will or may happen… And most importantly, how we feel about it. Self-editing is quite a big game really, because for those bent of editing themselves the practice of present moment awareness is in fact a form of self-editing. For those of us bent of self-editing this practice could bring us into a state of disapproval for how we feel which could make us think that we should be at peace with the present moment. This is part of what is called ‘spiritual bypassing.’
Really, what I’m getting at is that to make our peace with how we feel, good, bad, happy, sad, or anywhere in between, is to be in a state of allowing. To allow the emotions to come, be expressed freely and then morph – in their own sweet time – into something more constructive and more positive. When I say ‘express freely’, this can be done verbally, to a friend over the internet or on the phone, written down, crafted into a song or a painting or in just about any way. In what ever way we express these feelings, whether there is someone on the other side listening/reading or not, the expression is key. Expression plays the part of a discharge here, it neutralises the playing field and gets everything out in the open.
Without further ado, let me present to you my three favourite, tried and tested techniques for a happy life. Drum roll please…
1. Centre Yourself.
I have added a picture here to demonstrate what I mean when I say, ‘centre yourself.’ Visualise a point of energy just behind and just below your belly button. Draw your focus to that point. This is the centre of your being; this is your anchor.Without this anchor in place your focus will pivot relentlessly and settle where it settles based on your patterns.
Next, visualise three points in your head. One at the very front, in your forehead; one at the very back, in-line with the point at your forehead but at the very back of your skull; and a third point in between them, in-line with both but sort of floating in the centre.
If your focus is at the front of your head, you will find yourself to be “so close to the puzzle that you can’t see the picture.” This is where we are when we are very emotionally enveloped by a situation and are acting purely on emotional impulses.
If your focus is at the back of your head, you will find yourself to be withdrawn and distant; numb to suffering, sometimes, even. This is where we are when we end up being cold and calculating. If we are in this state, we will be acting purely on intellectual or logical grounds.
To be centred between the two is to gain the best of both intellectual input and emotional impulse. In this state we are balanced.
2. Never Apologise For Authenticity.
It’s something Josh Radnor (the guy who plays Ted from How I Met Your Mother) said “Never apologise for authenticity.”
We can only be ourselves. There is no point in trying to be anything other than who you are. If you find yourself apologising for everything that isn’t a societally accepted norm; it’s time to accept your essence, work with the destructive elements of your personality, transmute them and start living authentically. I’m not saying swear off of apologising all together, if you accidentally kick someone then perhaps apologise for the harm caused and do what you can to make amends. If you were to apologise for kicking someone then that would be positive, but if you apologise for being the person who kicked someone then you are restricting your authenticity. Shit happens. And when shit happens, we might as well accept that it has and focus on honing our efforts towards the next most positive outcome after ‘it not happening,’ instead of scalding ourselves for being the person who made it happen.
Really, there are no true accidents. Everything happens in accordance with our vibrational frequency. If we are a match to accidents happening, it is because we are not truly accepting who we are. If we were to accept who we are, then we would very quickly begin to see that accidents happen less and less. Accidents happen less and less once we have accepted who we are at our core because our actions become more deliberate.
3. Use ‘Fuck It!’
The idea of ‘Fuck It’ is presented by John C. Parking in his aptly named book, ‘Fuck It.’ I highly recommend reading it! It’s amazing! The idea of ‘Fuck It’ is essentially that of releasing resistance. However, the word “fuck” holds such a powerful vibration because of what it means to us in the western world and so using it helps us to release resistance is a massive way. So, if we are in a position where we would usually have apologised for being who we are, we can say “fuck it,” and just… not apologise. We can even say “fuck it,” and skip away while whistling a tune. We could even add the heartfelt warblings of a Queen anthem to that mix. I’m thinking, ‘We Are The Champions,’ or ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’
And, if we find ourselves relentlessly centring ourselves and resisting the urge to apologise for being who we are, we can just say “fuck it” to the whole thing and carry on as we were before. After all, this universe is a buffet, a playing field and one big game. There’s no right and wrong, no good or bad, so why not just say “fuck it” to ‘Fuck It’ and have a nap.
My advice on how to live a happy life is to introduce the practice of centring yourself into your every day life; cease apologising for authenticity and start allowing your essence to shine though; and embrace the ‘Fuck It’ philosophy. This will allow room for you to live a more relaxed, relaxing and authentic life.
I whole-heartedly hope this works for you. If not, fuck it, eh?
I love you.
Live to love and play every day!
Also, here is a digital picture of a bird and a sunset…
Sources: John C. Parkin & The Barefoot Doctor.