Tuesday – Early Afternoon
There is a beautiful harmony in my life when it comes to the friends I bond most closely with. As I have said before, there are some issues I have with abandonment. These issues cause me to be committed to my friendships and relationships to the point where I will pull out all the stops to test how committed the other is. This is a pattern which has repeated in the past, and it is a pattern which has lost me many lovers and many friends. Right now though, I am seeing a beautiful harmony in my current friendships.
When my ex and I first got together, she had recently had several friends move away, this left her feeling lost and alone. I promised to always be there, and to never leave – and even if I did, I would always be at the end of the phone. That hasn’t changed, even now we’ve parted ways. I also have several close friends who have similar issues. One of my friends had a similar experience to me when they were young with their parents. Another has lost some incredibly close friends in their lifetime.
I have been attracted into their lives because we all seek stability on some level. My friends and I all seek this level of comfort or familiarity. I have always striven to be the one who is “always there.” The one who is around when people need them and the one who is very rarely out of touch with those who matter most. It’s for this reason that I see the beautiful harmony in my current relationships. When the pain of loss surfaces for myself, or for my loved ones, there is always another there to comfort them and to provide them with compassion, love and empathy. In times of suffering it’s so important to have comfort, compassion, love and empathy.
In Seeking Guidance For The Days Ahead
It’s strange. I wrote the above paragraphs about half an hour ago from now and I was feeling very good about the whole thing. After that, things started to get a bit hectic. My little brother – who is currently ill – began to cry incredibly loudly and it echoed through the house. One of my friends became sad and another became angry. There was also a small amount of conflict with another friend. It all went a bit mad for a moment! I’ve just found myself sitting here, taking a deep breath and a step back from the whole thing. I’m sitting here in awareness now. I notice the value of how my energy is applied to each person.
For some people I need to be more playful and just be there when I’m needed. For others the utmost compassion is the very key to consolation. For others I just need to be around and be myself. With some, I need to be stern, concise and candid while maintaining compassion and empathy for them. In noticing these I am now more aware of my application of energy and how it works. Based on yesterdays blog, I am seeing more and more about the value of energetic application – when, how, why and how long for.
An I Ching Reading For What Lies Ahead
“The waters on the surface of the earth flow together wherever they can into rivers and oceans. Hence the idea of union. Holding together means mutual help. The five yielding Yin lines of the hexagram hold together because they are united and influenced by a man of strong will in the leading position. He is the centre of union. Moreover, this strong, guiding personality, in turn, holds together with the others, finding in them the complement of his own nature. He ensures that each member finds true interest in holding together.” – Holding Together – Union (8), I Ching.
I love the I Ching so much. It is always dead-on. It’s amazing how I did this reading just now and above I had essentially come to the same conclusion.
There was hostility between myself and a friend for a moment, bubbling under the surface. I could feel the tension in the energy. There was a moment when I wanted to explode. In taking a step back and looking over what the I Ching said and what I had written here before the reading, I noticed that what was the most valuable course of action was that of allowing and heart-felt expression. I decided to say “fuck it” and go with my natural state of being as a path of action. I decided that I would be loving and appreciative of her – I decided to tell her how amazing she is. The tense energy was transmuted and the friendship is better for it.
The lesson I learned there was that if we play to our deepest positive traits and work with our essential nature – as opposed to against it – we will notice so much positivity coming to us. As humans, we are all deeply loving at our core and if we can appeal to that element of ourselves in times of strife – and to that element in others when they are suffering – we can create positive outcomes from even the shittiest of situations.
“Holding together brings blessing. Do you possess the sublimity, constancy and perseverance to be the centre of union?” – Holding Together – Union (8), I Ching.
I have to say, I have very much enjoyed the synchronisation occurring while I have been writing this post. First, I make a statement about how I always strive to be the one who is there for others. Then my desire to be there for others is challenged in a big way by several occurrences, my emotional capacity and ability for empathy and honesty is tested also. Then I decide to do an I Ching reading wherein it tells me that you have to be strong of will to be the centre of a union – strong of will and willing to be flexible and empathetic.
What a day, eh? Wow!
I’ll write soon.
You’re absolutely amazing!
I love you!
Namaste! Live, love and play! ❤