When those we love are going through hell, being there for them seems to be a natural calling for many of us. Whether it’s something simple like playing Beethoven to blind elephants on a hilltop in Thailand [https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RKcks_4uLmA], or supporting your lover as they go through experiences which repeatedly trigger the pain and suffering from their past.
For a while, I’ve been reluctant to tell the world about what I’m about to share because I feared the judgement of those who would not understand. And then I found an article which reminded me of several things. [Link here: http://www.the-open-mind.com/15-things-you-dont-owe-anyone-at-all-though-you-think-you-do/%5D In reading this article, I was reminded that I don’t have to justify my life choices to others. Myself and those closest to me – family excluded – have a detailed understanding of themselves which is unfolding all the time. I am aware of triggers and patterns in my life and as such I am fully aware that my current relationship is part of this pattern. Do I care? Not that much. Why? Because I have found a lot of love in a way thought impossible by many – and up until a few months ago, I thought this way too. There are lots of things most would scorn and shake their heads at when it comes to my current relationship. There are many who would discount it all together.
Whether it is judged well or inaccurately, it is not any concern of mine what other people are thinking. Why? Because I know in myself that the way I feel towards this very special person is pure and unparalleled. Against all odds, myself and my love have found each other via the internet. We speak daily via instant messenger and video chat on Skype often. Due to both of us having disharmonious and painful relationships as our last and most recent, we have both found something in the way that we are with each other which is perfect. And I’ll be honest, you guys know, when you speak to someone who touches your soul on such a deep level, it’s difficult NOT to fall in love.
So who is she? Where is she? And what’s this all about? Well my friends, I have fallen in love with Rosa. She is from Mexico and resides there currently. She and I connect deeply on many levels and often find the same answers via different methods when it comes to spirituality and life. We share a taste in music and humour. It’s a delightful relationship dynamic because one minute we’re ancient wizards discussing the nature of all things elusive, the next we’re loved up lovers and in the next we’re 5 year old kids following a trail of funny into the unknown casm of hilarity. She is beyond beautiful on every level. She has been my saving grace through the reemergence of the ghosts of my past of life and for that and much more I am and will be eternally grateful for her. Te amo cariño. My angel.
So why now? Why am I telling you this now? After months of keeping shtum about it? I have decided it is time to be honest with you guys about this part of my life because I had an epiphany today…
Life is a constant flow of change, destruction and construction constantly taking over from each other. Growth is unavoidable. And sometimes in growth, we lose that which is dear to us. My love almost lost a friend today and that friend of her’s lost her mother. In a heart-wrenching story, this friend of Rosa’s survived the plane crash which killed her mother and swam to shore with broken bones. Its a tale of heroics and loss. And this, for me, details exactly how much each moment with those we love should be cherished. Not out of fear of loss but out of knowing that life is a series of fleeting events all part of a slightly larger but still transitory sequence of events. This has thrust me into an immense appreciation for life which fills me with the loving energy to serve those around me who are suffering.
If, in every moment, we have not a pin-prick of space on the grand scale of the history and the future of the human race… If this moment is one minuscule instance in the grand scheme of things… And still we can derive unparalleled emotion from it, be it joy, love, pain, loss, then I feel that this moment is worth cherishing. In all it’s form and all it’s glory. There will never be another moment like it made up of the same components.
And so, this is where I am. Here. In the moment. Loving. In service.
Live, love and play