It came to my attention recently – while speaking with my parter, Rosa – that if we are brought up with a certain perception of what God is or isn’t and we don’t make time to redefine – or even recreate – God for ourselves, then the idea of God that we were stamped with periodically from a young age becomes our default perspective of God. This is because it’s all we have to fall back on when all else goes to shit; when we run out of stamina to fight against the current of life. When we let go and just allow the current of life, we are often left in the hands of a jealous, merciless, angry, judgemental God!
If our belief and intention work together to create our reality and we believe – on a subtle, subconscious level – that the source of all things – the guiding hand behind all life – is this unfair, cruel or jealous God, then we will always be living a life which reflects this sort of a God as an overseer. Many of us have the intellectual understanding that the patriarchal view of God is a man-made entity which serves as a father figure for people to fear and obey. But intellectual understanding alone is only one part of the puzzle, we must have an emotional understanding of this also, if we ever hope to interface with reality in a positive, harmonious manner which doesn’t leave us struggling or fighting an uphill battle.
For so many of us, there is a dormant but consistent feeling of being alone, doing everything by ourselves and having to fight against the world to have what we want. We often feel as though we’re left alone in a cruel, cruel world where we must go against the grain and battle the tide to get anywhere near to anything we want. And we have an experience which allows us to only get a small glimpse of anything we want – and never the full package. Why? Because if we have a subconscious belief that God is unfair and cruel then we are living in a universe in which the happenings are determined by this vicious father figure.
It’s comes to me often, this question: “Why do things have to be difficult? Why aren’t they just easy? Like… Instead of things being difficult, what if they were easy?” Such a question is what lead myself and my love to this understanding… This awareness that if my belief about God was one that I had been programmed with by my Jehovah’s Witness grandparents from a young age – indeed, the only exposure to any God figure I had while growing up – then it’s no wonder life feels so hard, so difficult, like such a struggle, so often. Because I’m playing the same game as they are, but by different rules. They have their Jehovah’s Witness, self-sacrifice, judgement, no self-trust and I have my self-confidence, self-love, and personal empowerment.
Tricky part is that when you’re living a life wherein you hold the reigns of your reality, a life where everything is determined by your beliefs and intention, and then on some deeper level you believe that everything you’re experiencing is being determined by this Jehovah’s Witness’ idea of a jealous, unfair God who plays games of loyalty with the human race and would eradicate anyone living the “wrong” way… When THAT is the determining factor of whether or not you can manifest your reality, it’s like repeatedly smashing your head against a brick wall. It’s like, struggling through a sandstorm where gold is hidden in the sand under your feet: you occasionally catch a glimmer, and sometimes – only sometimes – are able to pick up the odd semblance of riches from the sand.
For the past several months, this has been my story. I’ve been fighting uphill in a battle to accumulate enough wealth to buy a plane ticket to be with the love of my life, but due to this dormant perception of God/Source – and thus reality – it’s been like weathering a sandstorm instead of like magnetising everything I want. Now, if I believe that I’m playing chess with some jealous, unfair God then naturally it’s gonna be a struggle. BUT if I believe that God/Source is pure love and that this God/Source loves me unconditionally, that this God/Source supports my choices and displays it’s love and support by giving me everything I desire, then life is simple and easy. Instead of being giving lessons to learn time and time again and half-arsed support when I want to live the life of my dreams, I’ll be presented with a life beyond my wildest dreams! Naturally, of course, struggle will be present from time to time, but no longer will I live a life based on struggle.
So how do we redefine God so that life becomes easy and joyful, instead of troublesome and turbulent? Here’s the steps…
1. Think of the idea of God that you were offered as a child. For me, it was the Jehovah’s Witness God, for my lover it was the Catholic version.
2. Find what it is that you love about that God and what he/she inspires in those who believe in him/her. Is it hope? Is it community? Is it caring? Is it support? Is it prayer? Is it love?
3. Consider where in your life those things are most present. If it’s hope, think of what gives you most hope in life. If it’s prayer, think about the feeling prayer gives you. If it’s community, think about the feeling community gives you. If it’s love, consider who has loved you to most in your life and what that love looks like.
4. Write down all of the positive elements of what it is this connection with God/Source feels like. That is Source. That is God.
5. Look for proof of this God in your life and make a note of each time you are shown that this is your *true* God.
For me, it was the hope, community and caring that the God of my grandparents inspired in them that I loved so much. They would always be hopeful that, even though they believed the world is about to perish, there is always hope for the human species. They have a tremendous sense of community and would open their homes to those they trust, even though they’ve never met them before. And the thing that inspires me the most is that their God inspires caring and love within them. They are always trying to help in the best way that they know how.
When I consider where love and caring is most present in my life, I am always drawn to my lover and partner, Rosa. When I am in her energy, sharing with her, I feel a beautiful sense of bliss and serenity – A stillness and tranquillity like no other. When I’m with her, I know that God, that Source, is real. It’s through being with her that I know that God isn’t cruel, unfair, superior, judgemental or jealous. It’s through being with Rosa that I know that…
God/Source: Always loves me, is always here for me, is kind and considerate, is fun and compassionate, is unconditionally loving, is respectful, is fuckin’ funny, makes me smile, is beautiful, is strong and enduring, is wise and intelligent, is a genius, is incredibly creative, is innovative and inspired, is powerful, is happy and content to be, is consoling, approving and accepting, is playful and benevolent, is unique and understanding, is shy, pleasant, adorable, balanced and self-assured.
After all, if Source is everything, how can there be one so amazing if God/Source itself isn’t that way..?
That’s what God is to me. What is God to you?
Live, love and play!