Why do we do what we do? Why do we do anything? Most times, it’s because we want; because we think we should; because we want to be the sort of person who does that sort of a thing. But then sometimes, we are moved by something larger than us to do things. Sometimes we are compelled by greater forces into movement that we cannot fathom. Sometimes it’s the greater flow guiding us downstream to a better tomorrow. Sometimes it’s subtle energies which we cannot see, or even sense oftentimes, that are guiding us to do what we are doing. With Mercury Retrograde in full flow, I feel like it’s the perfect time – and indeed the necessary time – for me to write on “The Flow” and trusting in it.
First things first though, what the hell is this ‘Flow’ business anyway? We have the following addressed many times before, but for clarity and ease, I’ll reiterate it once more… This entire life thing that we are going through is an accumulation of energetic connections which have come together in an act of love and continue to remain bonded through that connection to provide us – as elements of this larger artwork of energy – with a confusing, sometimes tedious but altogether quite convincing series of moments wherein we feel, express and love ourselves as part of that artwork. Long story short: oneness.
Within this all-encompassing oneness that life is happening within and without, everything works as part of a harmonious-disharmonious balance and imbalance which is always and forever and never and only sometimes in a constant flux between harmony and disharmony and balance and imbalance. Confusing, right? I told you. Hah! Now, that concept is – at its best – fucking beautiful when you begin to comprehend just… like… the first taste of it. But to fully appreciate the complexity and simultaneous simplicity of what I’m only hinting at with the riddle of genius nonsense I spewed above, you’d have to transcend all of your attachments to understanding and then give up on understanding altogether while maintaining an inclination towards wanting to understand… And even then, your head would explode in the instant you began to understand. So, it would suffice to say that there is something massive which we are part of and that something massive is part of us too. Within us as we are within it.
Like a coffee shop that is built out of coffee beans, ground down and lathered on the walls which you then scrape a sprinkling from for your own drink and sip it down at around three minutes past twelve at night when the coffee shop is still open, despite the sign on the door being very specific about the closing time being six minutes past five in the evening. The coffee is outside of you and inside of you – ’cause you drank it. Now imagine you’re made of coffee too and then ignore the obvious cannibalism reference and THERE YOU HAVE IT. A fraction of an understanding of what I’m getting at.
As I say, it’s a vast concept. Because all of this is part of life in every second – and also not really a part of it at all for most of us – it can be impossible to know why any of us ever do anything, ever. Subconscious patterns are usually our reason for doing the things that we can’t find a reason for in retrospect. Other times, energetic bonds are like invisible remote controls which compel us to make decisions we don’t even know we’re making. In these instances, it’s like the greater flow is encouraging a certain action through necessity. Let me tell you, the greater flow never encourages engagement through necessity. We encourage ourselves into engagement with the unpleasant through necessity. When the greater flow is guiding you through something, it’s just thrust upon you like a chimp on speed riding a unicycle. It’s like “Here it is. Deal with it but know I love you.” To which, my usual response is, “You sarcastic fuck!” But then the flow’s all like, “Baaaahhh, but life, mate, life.” and I’m like, “I know… I know…”
Last night, I did a meditation to cut some energetic cords with my exs which I noticed seemed to have been re-established. I did an exercise in which I brought myself to a place where I could honestly and openly say, “I’m sorry, thank you, I love you, goodbye.” All without attachment or fear or anger or anything of that heavy shit. Then, when I was awake for less than hour this morning – which is actually the afternoon but I’m already on Mexico time – I had two of my exs appear and make some form of contact!! If you ever feel like this shit ain’t real, cut some energetic cords. That shit is surreal. Anyway, one of them liked a photo on my Instagram and I was like “BLOCK!” instantly. Dunno what she’s up to but I can’t be doin’ with that. And the other was messaging me and trying to get money out of me. Now, the thing here is, to them – I’d imagine – it’s just a normal day where life itself has brought them to a point wherein they have a choice to contact me or not to.
For one of them, it would seem – I imagine – that the greater flow of life has brought them to the neccessity to contact me for reasons which are of the utmost importance to them. As mentioned earlier, I assure you that the greather flow has not encouraged this or forced it to happen. Yet it is part of the flow of life. What caused her to send me a message was the meaning she attached and necessity she created for it to happen. But behind that whole process that was shooting off inside her mind, within her soul… something happened… You see, we all have energetic attachments to pretty much everything that we care for or about and/or have cared about in the past. The connection of those attachments becomes comfortable and we get used to how it feels. For those of us without any real awareness of our energetic perceptions or sensitivity to them, when something like what I did last night happens, a reaction is engaged in through necessity.
It goes like this… Andey cuts the cord… Ex wakes up and feels different but doesn’t know why (a shift has occurred in her energy field because the connection has been severed)… Due to her lack of sensitivity and awareness of these things, instead of doing her own inner work to find a new energetic equilibrium wherein she doesn’t have to depend on my energy to feel comfortable, she has an inclination towards contacting me… Without knowing why she is doing this and then rationalising it down to me owing her money, she attempts to re-establish the energetic connection… My job is to navigate this situation without allowing her to re-establish the energetic cord. This is most easily done by acting a way which she is not used to me acting in, thus breaking the pattern and causing things to settle in a different way. This forces her to find a new balance without my energy. Tricky procedure. It’s like fucking rocket science when it’s an old cord but it can be done.
As for the other, I dunno… I’ve submitted to the assumption that she’s genuinely unstable. For me to understand why she does anything that she does would be a pointless waste of my time and energy – let alone bloody confusing and just dull.
That all said, the greater flow was guiding through the whole thing. How do I know that? Because it just happened… It was thrust upon me like a chimp on speed riding a unicycle.
All-in-all, if we spend our whole life worrying about why things happen the way they do, we’ll be 90 years old with a calculator, measuring the approximate width of an etheric codon with our boxer shorts around our ankles and our buttcheeks glued shut before we get close to understanding. And even then we run the risk of our heads exploding. That is a practice which I have deemed exhausting and far too complicated to even consider attempting. If you fancy it though, don’t let me stop you. My message for today is simply: Life is gonna happen whatever you do. It’s gonna be scary, it’s gonna be fun, it’s gonna be confusing and weird and exciting and sometimes outright tedious but you can either live it and make the most of it or spend your life trying to figure out the semantics. The choice is yours. Just never let fear of fear stop you doing anything. But don’t be fearful of the fear of fear. That’s just silly. But then sometimes silliness is just what we need.
So it’s all good.
Keep it real, my friends.
Live, love and play.