Rosa and I were talking tonight – as per usual – about how we felt and about what was going on for us. It has been a pretty intense day by any standard, what with our running all across town to four difference locations to exchange a visa form for a card which is apparently not necessary aaand then paying a visit to a few different banks to find one which would actually take my english money and trade it for mexican money…
Every bank seemed reluctant to trade when we asked someone in each of them. As we crossed each bank off our unwritten list, we were in turn sent to another one. Eventually – after hunting for our target locations for hours – we tracked down one guy in one bank who seemed to be having a good day. Or maybe he was dedicated to his job and to service. Either way, this guy was our angel today.
When we began exploring this particular bank, we saw the disturbingly long queues for the cashing desks and the huddle of apprehensive customers waiting to speak to a consultant strewn across a seated waiting area. The bank itself was in the process of being entirely gutted and rebuilt internally as part of what I assumed was some form of routine maintenance or systematic re-branding. The high ceilings were fortified by metal light fixtures and ventilation waiting eagerly to fulfil its purpose. The walls were mostly plaster save a few which already had the new coverings attached.
We peered around the waiting room with bewildered expressions looking for someone – anyone – who held an expression which was anywhere close to telling us something like, “helping you is important to me, let me do what I can.” Swiveling on our heels, Rosa and I caught sight of a man dressed in a suit and tie, top button done up and a soft and gentle face. He was the man we were looking for. After a quick gesture from me, a conversation erupted between the man and us. An awkward moment where I stared blankly into his eyes with my, “I respect you as a human though I’ve no idea what you’re saying to me” face on. Then Rosa stepped in to explain the situation.
The bank consultant look another look and me and asked Rosa where I was from with a face that said he was really, honestly excited to be helping. He then proceeded to make a few calls on a nearby telephone and tells us that with my UK passport, the transfer would be possible at the cashing counters. With gratitude thick in our smiles and the feeling that our search was at an end, we headed to the cashing counters to finish the job.
When we arrived, we were met by another employee who was unsure as to the source of our information, which he deemed to be incorrect, and we were forced to return to the more agreeable man who had held we us previously. Again, a few calls were made and he told us that there would be no issues nows. Once more we returned to the cashing counters and – after some further minor confusion – we were able to exchange the pounds for pesos at last. With a high five in the cashing counter room and a hearty ‘thank you’ to the man who had been a complete blessing for us, we felt the bank with our heads held high.
After chasing our tails looking for a bank that would give us what we wanted and a hunt for an immigration office which didn’t seem to want to be found (plus the subsequent hour long wait there which lead to be told by a government agent with an attitude problem that we in fact has no reason to be there), both Rosa and I were entirely shattered. We popped into a hardware store to collect a few things we needed to finish our DIY coffee table (pictures when it’s done) and then into to one of the many convenience stores here of a chain called “Oxxo”…
Upon arriving back home, something became apparent. Although I was gushtunkunflumped from the day we’d had, Rosa was more so. It then became clear that though my experiences of the day had left me marginally fatigued, the effect was more so for Rosa. Why? Because for me the stimulation was from the sounds, the volume of people, the distractions for the eyes, the crassly overcomplicated non-efficient almost-systems in use and then the energy and subtle signals of everyone we came into contact with…plus anything else I missed off that list… For Rosa, it’s all that PLUS being able to understand the words of those she’s talking to and everybody in the background. I am starting to forget what that’s like. But I know that it can be exhausting. Hell, talking to people we have rapport with – people we actually like – can be exhausting… So that affect is doubled if not tripled when it’s someone new… And today it’s been nothing but new people and new environments for the both of us.
It might seem obvious but that was a call to action for me, discovering that. I’ve since done all I can to ensure that Rosa feels better after the mad day full of people and distractions. But really, what it was that she needed – more than anything I could do for her – was time to herself; quiet time to reconnect. Maybe I could serve as a reference point in where she wants to come back to, but it was really about her reconnecting with herself.
And then this evening, I identified a feeling I’ve been having on and off for the past few days. A feeling that I needed to do something or have something… At first I thought it was maybe a hunger thing but it wasn’t a feeling I was only getting before meals. So I thought that it might be thirst. I drank a few glasses of water and still the feeling remained… So I brought it up with Rosa. In seconds we identified it as the need to be alone and she offered to take herself downstairs for a little while so that it could reconnect with myself.
Now, some of you are likely thinking: “what?! You’ve spent 9 months pining over this girl and now that you’re finally together, you want alone time?! Insane!”
Well, hold your figurative horses one hot damn cotton pickin’ nimute… Because while it’s true that love and companionship is something most if not all of us spend our whole lives looking for… And while it’s true that we can offer each other invaluable aid in reconnecting with who we really are at our cores (in providing a reference point or a good example to aspire to or in shining light where we insist upon it being dark) there really is no adequate replacement for a bit of alone time; a bit of time to yourself.
In my time alone, I reflect on my recent days and those so long gone by; I meditate and usually that leads to napping; and I write blog posts like this one. Being alone doesn’t mean you don’t want to be around and others. Spending time with yourself and reconnecting with yourself doesn’t necessarily mean that you dislike others or fear connecting with them… But what it does always mean is that you are recharging your batteries of connection with life itself.
Think about it, if you experience life through the vessel that is your body then how can you interface with reality in a healthy and balanced way if you cannot connect with yourself. In being alone, we recognise the interconnected nature of all that we feel to be real. In doing so, we recharge our personal batteries.
That’s what today showed me once more, in a new and even more simple way.
What did today show you?
Keep it real.
Live, love and play!