It’s odd right, the insatiable urge to share knowledge? To be in the know… To be knowledgeable…
I recently posted on Facebook about the fact that the more I learn the less things seem to matter to me. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just that I don’t mind. The more I find myself understanding new things – not just of concepts but facets of my experience in general – the less I feel angry or annoyed or disgruntled. Obviously I’m not saying I don’t get angry or annoyed or disgruntled. I’m not a dog. These feelings are part of being human. But these things seems to arise less and less for me as I become more and more familiar with the deeper realms of understanding available to each of us throughout our human experience.
The more I understand the inner workings of the human psyche, the less it matters to me how the people’s lives my own infrequently intersect with unfold. The more I understand about the nature of the mind, the less it matters to me which thoughts occur within it for me. The more I understand physics or biology or chemistry, the less it matters to me how these things unfold for me in my life. And most significantly, the more I understand about understanding, the less it matters to me to profess my understanding to the world.
The expression of any given understanding comes purely from marvelling at its complexities and intricacies rather than to attempt to impose that information on anyone else. (And it would just be information when imposed on anyone else. What’s understanding to me, to another is just information. It’s just new data and nothing more until it’s grounded and experienced as true or false). This is the same here, I’m not writing this to teach you. Far from it. I’m writing this because I want to write it. But then is that ever not the case? Would it not be the case that – if I was trying to teach you something – I would just be writing this because I want to teach you something. So I’d still want to be writing it. Just for a different reason. Not for the sheer joy of human expression.
And the more I understand that we never do things for no reason, the reasons people do what they do matter to me less and less. Why? Well, they wouldn’t do it for no reason. So either they’ve got a good reason for doing it, they think they’ve got a good reason for doing it or they’re patterning out based on their psychological conditioning. And none of these happen without a reason. So that’s not anything to be bothered about.
Personally, things start to bother me when I can’t see a decent reason behind something. But I’ve noticed that when I drop my own interpretation of what a ‘decent reason’ would be – when I stop only seeing things through the tunnel vision that is anything less than objectivity – I find that any reason is a decent reason to do something. Why? Well, why not?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not encouraging stupid things. Not that me saying anything would stop stupid things from being done. If you’re stupid enough to do stupid things then me telling you to do stupid things or not to do stupid things wouldn’t matter. If I told you not to, you’d just find someone else to enable your stupidity and there’s nothing I can do about that. In the same way that the universe tends towards harmony and Mexicans tend towards tacos, things tend to find their way to happen whether or not we get involved. Even if we all stopped getting involved in stupid shit, stupid shit would find a way to happen. Getting all bent out of shape about it won’t make a difference.
Now, just doing the best we can in the moment we’re in… Now we’re talking. Like, as I’ve mentioned a lot recently, it’s been tough for me to connect with other people properly – to actually be me and be there for them at the same time. Learning how to do that as a friend and not as a coach or a spiritual teacher has been something of a new experience for me recently. Talking to a friend on skype tonight, I was able to be there properly, fully, not through the conduit of this role I was playing. I was just Andey, a friend. I was just a friend who cares. Nothing more. That was nice.
And from that position, things didn’t matter so much. Coming from a teacher standpoint, what the receiver of my advice did with it felt like a reflection of me and my teaching capabilities or my delivery capabilities or something. Like, I know that’s not the case but it sort of felt that way. It mattered how what I said was being taken and whether it was being taken on. After all a “teacher” is defined by their teaching. No teaching, where’s the teacher? Just a drifting fool with a complex, right? Well, that was me a bit. And tonight, I got another side of what it means to be there for someone. But this time, not as a teacher or a coach, but as a friend. Just a friend who cares. It was really lovely to open my heart to the degree where I knew that while my words were listened to and gratefully received, they didn’t really mean more than the fact that I was there and was supportive and caring.
The more I understand, the less things matter. I’m starting to see how everything really is just unfolding exactly as it needs to and nothing I do or say will really do anything that generally affects the bigger picture anyways. And anything I do say or do will just be the divine moving through me anyway. Of course, when my own life is concerned, the I that means Andey tends to have a more active role. But even that’s the divine moving through me, as me. So it doesn’t matter. It’s all just doing what it does. And that’s lovely.
I’ve been in contact with people – and in the past have been someone – who’s only role in the lives of others has taken to be “someone to teaches”. And I tell you, from the outside, that’s bloody tiring. When you want to connect with someone and get to the deeper individual personality behind all the information they’re giving you but they just give you more information… Tiring. Sorry if I ever did that to you. I didn’t mean to. Didn’t really know I was doing it, to be honest. But yeah, it seems like there is this insatiable urge within some of us to share knowledge – to be knowledge-able – and to help others. But the thing is, the more you understand, the more you notice that the more you offer, the less it helps. In fact, the right advice at the wrong time can actually ruin the advice and mean that whoever it is that needed it is now immune to the advice working and is actually doomed to walk the harder path.
Considering the parable of Thor and Longbeard or the ancient principle of Wu Wei, it’s always much better to just do the best we can in our own life and see what happens. If someone comes to us looking for help then maybe we give them a little bit. But I’ve found now that giving advice isn’t actually an opportunity to peacock about how wise you are. Mad, right? I know, it shocked me! And I’ve found that actually the less you offer when advice is asked for, the better. You can tell someone about your personal experience or offer your opinion – being clear that it’s your opinion alone – but when you start to profess the way that you see is “right”, it’s just information. How do I know that what you’re telling me is right? Even if you explain why, that’s still more information. Even if you tell me how this thing or that thing proves it or reinforces it, it’s still information. Makes no difference whatsoever.
This might be distressing for someone who is totally identified with being a “teacher” or something. I know that if I heard this when I was all identified, I’d’ve been like ‘shut up you bastard, you don’t know what you’re talking about.’ Well, I’d probably said that to myself. Publicly, I’d’ve just turned my nose up at it and continued on my way. Why? Because it’d’ve have just been information to me! Like this is to you now. There is literally no point in me writing this! I am just saying words and you’re just reading them! It means nought but what you take it to mean and that’s just a belief then – at worst – and all beliefs get destroyed sooner or later anyway, if we’re living decently… So there’s actually no point. It doesn’t matter and all we can do is our very best for ourselves and those we love in any moment.
And that, my friends, when it’s not just information and is actually an understanding, is just so tremendously liberating. I don’t expect you to agree. If you’ve had the experience I’ve had or something similar, you might do. In which case, awesome. We can sit in total silence together and have a nice time. And if not, fair enough. How’s it going? Are your family well? How was your summer last year?
If it doesn’t matter then what’s the point in just doing the best we can? Well, we’ve gotta do something to pass the time. We’re here now. We might as well do something. And if – *if* – there is anything worth doing at all, that is to deepen our hearts and get as compassionate and loving as possible. Not always easy but always worth it. And hey, it passes the time better and without hurting people. But if we don’t, it doesn’t matter because things have a way of rectifying themselves and we may end up doing it anyway. But all-in-all, it makes no actual difference in the end because you and I are just on our paths, doing what we’re doing. We’re just loving what we’re loving and hating what we’re hating. And that’s how it runs. And the more I understand, the more I sink into this feeling that it’s all sort of quite good in the end and if it’s not then it’s not the end. And really, there is no end because life is one big cycle anyways so it just goes on and we’ve gotta make our peace with that to some extent.
That’s why, despite being connected with magic now, I don’t do rituals or spells or anything like that. Not like “magically” anyways. I mean, yeah, we’re all emitting some sort of energy in one way or another all the time. But I’m not interested in hexing or casting spells because… Well, for three reasons. 1. I know that things will just reassert themselves sooner or later anyway. 2. Who am I to try to contradict the will of God? Who am I to try and use invisible energies to manipulate the flow of events that are always transpiring with a wisdom I could never fully comprehend? I’d not be so arrogant. and 3. The sheer volume of spells and hexes and my wife and I have to help our clients get rid of are… Well… Let’s just say that we’ve seen the effects of these things in people’s lives and how even a tiny unintentional hex can affect the well-being of one or even two or three people… It’s just not worth it.
And if this is just information to you then fair enough and I like that you’ve kept reading. But I’m on my path and you’re on yours and it’s cool that we’ve intersected but at the end of the day, it’s gonna unfold as it does and if you understand the extent of what I’m saying or not is by the by because you’ll always just do what you do and I’ll do what I do and sometimes it’s the same, most of the time it’s different that that’s just how things go. And the more I understand, the less it all matters to me because I see that it’s just what it is. And that’s cool.
I find myself pretty grateful, honestly. And pretty excited, really, because when it comes down to it, life really is just a game with no players looking like there’s loads – a dance with no dancers and this dance just doing its thing. And it really doesn’t matter what moves are made or what steps are taken because once it’s done, it’s done and we all look forwards anyways. So, yeah, at risk of rambling on without a point, I’ll stop there.
Thanks for reading. I appreciate the interest. If it made sense for you, that’s cool. Give this post a like and comment something below and we can chat – or we can sit in silent appreciation for the absence of meaning inherent in all the purposeful unfoldings of life. Such a mental thing this life.
Big hugs and love!
Live, love and play.