More and more I get the sense that life doesn’t happen to me. I get the sense that it happens for me, in a way. And I get the sense that it’s about me deciding how things are going to be and driving towards that with a burning passion – never taking less than 10/10 and never giving less than 11/10. I get the sense that the only reason things happen the way they do is because I have set things up in that way. If I’m not moving fast enough or hard enough towards what I’m driving towards then it’s because I haven’t got things set up optimally. And if I’m seeing the results I want, it’s because I’d paid attention, listened and applied myself.
Years ago, I would’ve cringed at how much that sounded like too much hard work. And now, I think back to my lazy “law of attraction will fix it all for me” attitude and I’m like, “lol, what an idiot.” To the point where I don’t even bother with the “law of attraction” as a thing any more. I just get connected with God as much as I can and I get connected with myself as much as I can. I look at my life and my blueprint for my life and go “if they’re not matching, how do I make them match” and then, as Neale Donald Walsh says “God says yes”. But honestly, I’m not thinking about anything other than my strategy and getting myself in the state that I need to be in to make tidal waves. Because if I’m not in that state, I make tiny little pointless ripples at best.
When you want it enough, you make it happen. When your pain is greater than your comfort, you get hungry.
Here I am now, 23, with my whole life leading to the point where I look at my life and know that no-one is coming to fix it for me. As much as it’s appealing to want some greater force to come and sort it all out, that never worked out for me. And I sort of get that it can work for other people. But that’s just the way things go. Some things are right for one person but terrible for another. Like dairy in the winter. Makes my eczema go mental. But others are fine with it.
I feel pretty blessed to be surrounded by the people in my life who have supported me and been able to hold their own when shit goes down for long enough to turn things around. That’s fucking inspiring. And, equally, I’m blessed to have those people around me who are honest and real enough to say “shit, I’m in over my head. I need to ask Andey about this.” when they hit a wall or a find themselves in a crazy shitstorm.
Whether it’s old friends or new friends, family or my wife, there are people around me that I’m so grateful to be in proximity with. These are the people who have helped me get to where I am now. And that (all of the above) is exactly where my starting point is this moment. It’s where I’m carrying on from as I keep moving forward, keep adjusting and making the right choices to set my life up in the way that works for me. Part of that, of course, is to work with Rosa to set our shared lives up in the way that is best for us. Which, naturally means that we are both learning a lot about ourselves and cutting the fat wherever necessary.
Speaking for myself primarily here, 80% of my energy is focused on increasing happiness and decreasing drama in my life. It’s what I’m all about. I’ve sort of got to that point now (coming on more and more over the past few years) where I have literally zero tolerance for drama. Problems, be gone. They’re useful to make life better and show me where there’s a leakage of energy or where the rigging is weak but that’s as far as it goes. Like… I see a bullshit, I kill a bullshit.
And it all means that I’m now building an awesome business that I can look at and be proud of. It means that, together with Rosa, I am able to change lives and see people growing in a way that they are facing their life like a dragon with fire in its belly. It means that I am helping people to make tidal waves in THEIR lives so that they can see THEIR vision realised. That’s what it’s all about. And that’s what keeps me up at night. That’s why I’m up at 7 six out of seven days of the week. That’s why I work my fingers to the bone to make Darshan Road what it needs to be. That’s why I don’t stop learning and growing and turning to face my own bullshit. And it’s why I’m relentless.
Don’t fear the man who is sad or angry. Don’t fear the man who’s scared or weary. Fear the man who’s fed up. Fear the man who’s hungry for more.
I am hungry. I am desperate to pulverise the useless, the pointless, the unnecessary, the wasteful. I am hungry for annihilating the dead weight, the draining and the unfulfilling. And I am forever ready to put in the hours and see the fruits of my labour.
About 6 months ago the hunger set in. My drive intensified. All my interest in the soft, the half-arsed, the unclear and the second-best ended. Then and there, it ended. And what I’m glad about is that it never cost me my compassion. It never cost me the depth to listen to someone, to hear them and know their pain. It never cost me the capacity to put my own shit aside and get outside of myself long enough to actually make a difference for someone. And here I am, running an international business with clients across the world, doing just that.
I’ve got to say, I’m grateful for grace for getting behind me. I’m grateful for the people who support me and Rosa for getting behind us. I’m grateful for Rosa for being so damn incredible and for being here with me every step of the way. And I’m grateful for myself. Without whom, none of this would be possible.
Onwards and upwards I say. That’s the only two directions I’m interested in. Who’s with me?
(I shared it on facebook and thought you’d get something out of it).